In the Doldrums

The doldrums. If I were a sailor, that’s where I’d be. Inactivity, stagnation, listlessness – oh, yes, those are the classic definitions. But I’m really in “a belt of calms and light baffling winds north of the equator”. The equator part is more metaphorical. But “light baffling” might be the most apt description. When you no longer know where to go or what to do.

We’re entering the third month of the writers strike. The picket line – despite the activity of walking in circles – might also be described as a place of non-movement. There’s an odd atmosphere of stasis in a group of people who are not working, and also not looking for work. This is an odd predicament for an American. Like it or not, we’re all still operating under the hegemony, the weight, of the Protestant work ethic. It’s an invisible force that only makes itself apparent if you’ve ever spent a significant time living or working abroad in a country that does not have this particular neurosis. Upon returning to the States, that peculiar ethic settles back on your shoulders, an invisible heavy weight. “Succeed.”

So, not working and also not looking for work produces an almost indescribable mental state. Of course people are writing, blogs, spec scripts, novels, what have you. But, you know work is work. The thing that lets you pay for food, shelter and what not.

So, how to not go crazy? How to keep moving, when outer movement is impossible?

Go in.

Maybe the opposite of the Protestant work ethic is meditation (Buddhist or otherwise). Or as we used to say in improv, “Don’t just do something, stand there.” If we give up outward striving, or are forced to put it on hold for a while, we can dwell in frustration, or we can give up striving, give up grasping.

Many times in Buddhist texts and art, grasping is depicted by a monkey in a tree, trying to pluck a fruit that is just out of his reach. I think this is how we feel most of the time, whether we’re working or not, succeeding or not. There is always one more thing that needs doing, one more thing that needs accomplishing, or fixing before we can be utterly happy, content, fulfilled.

Of course we still want the fruit. But maybe the fruit really comes from is getting down off the tree, sitting in the grass, breathing a little bit. Because the only people who have everything they want are the ones who want what they already have.

Not sure how that pays the rent. Still trying to figure that one out. Stay tuned.