Awesome

It is 11:52 a.m. on January 31, 2008. I have caught myself saying "awesome" at least five times in the last 48 hours. Now, if this was, say 1984, this would be cause for concern - only five times in the last 48 hours? That indicates a distinct lack of awesomeness in one's life. But it is now 2008, so... wherefore so much "awesome"?

I should point out that 2008 was heretofore characterized by an increase in my use of the word "sucks". Again, another word I have not used with such frequency since the 80s. But with the Writers Strike grinding on, and having to move without having a real job, well..."sucks" seems to have been the word of choice, the mot du temps, if you will.

I will also point out that I have not used the word "awesome" for anything that is actually awesome. And not in the grammar police - hey you're saying awesome when the thing your talking about is not actually full of awe or awe-inspiring, but in the usual "pretty cool" or "that doesn't suck" sense. It's pretty much just been in the "thank you for doing what you normally do in the course of your job" sense. And, really, that must stop.

Or must it? Maybe people just being normal and helpful is a cause of "awesome". Maybe we all deserve to be called "awesome" a bit more often in the course of daily life. Life is hard enough without feeling like you suck. (And for the sake of this post, of course, I'm assuming that it's a choice between the two.)

Awesome, on the other hand, takes some skill to pull off. In the wrong mouth it can sound disingenuous, or just plain meaningless. But there are some... My manager is one of these people who can pull it off, once you know him a little. The first time he ever called me, after reading my spec script, he left a message that began, "I read your script, I think it's awesome." And I thought, "'Awesome?' Who is this guy?" But, later, after talking to him, I believed him. I still believe him when he says awesome. Other people believe him, too. This is why he is good at what he does. He can turn a no into a yes with his enthusiasm. And, yes, that's awesome.

But me? I'm a little less effusive, most of the time. "Calm," I've been called. (Which means, maybe the meditation thing has been working?) So maybe "awesome" doesn't fit so well with me. Or maybe I should just reserve it for something actually awesome. This suits the grammar policewoman in me. Word choice is important. As Peter O'Toole's character in The Last Emperor says, "You have to be able to say what you mean, otherwise you can never mean what you say."

We can all be kind of like the Boy Who Cried Wolf, except we cry awesome or sucks when things actually aren't or don't. (Don't get me started on the use of "less" when you mean "fewer" or any various other grammar pet peeves).

I mean, not to get all, English major seminar in Semiotics on everyone, but, though I realize that, in reality, language only refers to itself (and from a Buddhist perspective, language is kind of the problem, in that we think that just because we're able to give something a name that it actually exists (it doesn't)) - for the moment, we're stuck with language. So we might as well make the best of it. At least I might as well. Who am I to tell you what to do?

So I'm going to try to say what I mean. And try to not sound like a high school freshman.