So I get home from a little grocery shopping last night, and hear, from somewhere in the neighborhood, a loud twangy whacking sound. Like someone beating cement with a lead pipe. I think, Wow, that's loud. And also kind of annoying for a Sunday evening. Someone must be... and here I draw a blank. This kind of sound does not correspond to: a. car maintenance b. home repair c. croquet, badminton, bocce ball or any other sort of back yard amusement (no, not even horse shoes).
I go inside, put groceries away, feed the cat. Still very loud whacking sound. I can't stand it, I have to see what's going on. So I go and stand on one of the benches next to the fence that surrounds the back patio/pool deck and look over into the neighbor's back yard. And there's a guy, holding three throwing knives, looking with concentration at a wooden target, and throwing his knives.
At this point I think, should I say something? And then I think: Hm. Airborne knives. Maybe not.
I go inside, put groceries away, feed the cat. Still very loud whacking sound. I can't stand it, I have to see what's going on. So I go and stand on one of the benches next to the fence that surrounds the back patio/pool deck and look over into the neighbor's back yard. And there's a guy, holding three throwing knives, looking with concentration at a wooden target, and throwing his knives.
At this point I think, should I say something? And then I think: Hm. Airborne knives. Maybe not.
So I go back inside. And decided that this was a good thing. Why? Because at least I know he's not a serial killer. Whenever they interview the neighbors of a person who turned out to be a serial killer, they always say things like, "He was so quiet and unassuming." If there's anything knife throwing is not, it's quiet and unassuming.
I'm going to go out on a limb and predict that I will never say these words: "Oh, yeah, that guy who murdered eight people and left a weird circus-like crime scene behind? I TOTALLY saw him practicing his knife throwing. And everyone within half a mile TOTALLY heard him practicing his knife throwing. But he wasn't quiet and unassuming, so we weren't worried."
It's kind of like that scene in The World According to Garp when an airplane flies into the house that Garp and his wife are looking at, and he goes, "We'll take it." Because what are the odds of that happening twice?
Instead, I'm going to think that my neighbor is practicing for the circus, or some other profession in which knife throwing is important. I don't know, do they do it at the Renaissance Faire?
I'm going to go out on a limb and predict that I will never say these words: "Oh, yeah, that guy who murdered eight people and left a weird circus-like crime scene behind? I TOTALLY saw him practicing his knife throwing. And everyone within half a mile TOTALLY heard him practicing his knife throwing. But he wasn't quiet and unassuming, so we weren't worried."
It's kind of like that scene in The World According to Garp when an airplane flies into the house that Garp and his wife are looking at, and he goes, "We'll take it." Because what are the odds of that happening twice?
Instead, I'm going to think that my neighbor is practicing for the circus, or some other profession in which knife throwing is important. I don't know, do they do it at the Renaissance Faire?
1 comment:
>Renaissance Faires?
I think they do.
Hilarious post.
Also: yikes!
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